New Year’s resolutions

If I could read the minds of players, this could (or should) be some of their new year’s resolutions:

Ando: I resolve to keep playing like a raging bull in the middle of the field and stay after practice to work on my shooting and finishing in the box.

Berba: I resolve to stay positive even when if I get dropped to the bench after scoring a million goals in one game. No club for me but United.

Rooney: I resolve to smoke less, stay trim and go on a scoring run like last season.

Gibson: I resolve to be more than a one-dimensional player and work on my (currently awful) first touch.

Nani: I resolve to be more consistent and learn to make smarter decisions on the field. I also resolve to fall over (dive/flop) less this year. Also, I will not get my head turned when Madrid and Ronaldo start sending me text messages about how wonderful it is to play at the Bernabeu.

Carrick: I resolve to stop giving the ball away in our own half of the pitch.

Rafael: I resolve to be the second coming of Dani Alves.

Neville: I resolve to retire at the end of the season. (seriously, please, especially after the game against West Brom).

Brown: I resolve to remind the gaffer that I’m still alive and available for selection.

Owen: I resolve to get back to match fitness and score a hattrick (preferably against Liverpool at Anfield).

Park: I resolve to keep scoring against Arsenal.

Chicharito: I resolve to be the best supersub since Ole.

Evans: I resolve to rediscover my form and confidence. I am better than my displays so far this season.

Obertan: I resolve to hit the weight room as well as learn to make the right decisions out on the field.

United: We resolve to start winning away from home and ditch the late game meltdowns.

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Category: Manchester United