Minor Vindication

By: Taylor Rockwell | June 12th, 2009

Dear King Franco FC Fans,
Have you ever wondered what it was like to have a media liability on your squad? Well wonder no more! Because thanks to 80 million banknotes soon to be sent Manchester’s way, you now have one. I was reading some soccer related articles, when I was sent these photos from a celebrity gossip site. I would prefer if no one made a jump in logic there.

Anyway, apparently Slave was captured making out with Paris Hilton a while back. The pictures are a bit grainy, but there was definitely enough contact there for Slave to need to get checked for VD. Which seems only fitting, as now the hyperbolic claims that Fergie sold Franco FC a virus don’t seem so far fetched anymore.

I don’t really care about what players do with their personal lives, unless it involves beating up teenagers at a McDonald’s. Then they can just go straight to hell. However, I thought this warranted mentioning because, for the first time in a long time, I no longer have to be embarrassed by the antics of a prima donna pretty boy. Of course, I’m sure that I’ve jinxed myself and tomorrow there will be photos of Anderson hooking up with Heidi and Spencer or some shite lack that… until then, I take solace in the fact that Slave is now Franco’s headache. Now let’s get on with the business of being linked with a transfer for (apparently) everyone who has ever put on a pair of football boots.

Oh, and if those images aren’t enough, here’s a creepy, peeping-tom-esque video of Slave departing Paris’ company at 5AM… ostensibly to take a seven hour shower… there’s not enough soap in the world to scrub off the remnants of the toxic bacteria frappe you just dipped into… poor kid.

	EPL Match Schedule			Discount Travel to Manchester
	Man. United Scores			Old Trafford information & hotels

Category: Manchester United

Tags: Cristiano Ronaldo, Manchester United, Paris Hilton, photos, Real Madrid

« Breaking Up Is Hard To Do… But It’s Also Totally Awesome | Home | And So We Begin… Finally… »

Subscribe   The Offside RSS Feeds

Print

Share

Comments  

• Wayne Farry |  June 12th, 2009 at 8:32 am

  
  
  

  They’re great pics, aren’t they?

  Strangely, this isn’t even our news anymore. This should be on the Madrid Offside. I’m really embracing him going now!

  Posted from Ireland

  

• Taylor Rockwell |  June 12th, 2009 at 8:36 am

  
  
  

  I think I may write one more article about Slave, and then be done with it… until we inevitably draw Franco FC in the Champions League… I would be willing to make a substantial wager on that happening… regardless, I REALLY want to know how the United players are responding to Slave leaving… The camp has been rather quiet…

  Posted from United States

  

• alessio |  June 12th, 2009 at 9:26 am

  
  
  

  Didn’t he shut her down last summer? Earned a bit of respect in my book…but now it’s gone. Again.

  Posted from United States

  

• b-52 |  June 12th, 2009 at 10:09 am

  
  
  

  i thought he said no last summer? well, well well… (c) Sven

  Posted from United States

  

• Corey |  June 12th, 2009 at 11:19 am

  
  
  

  This may be true, but you forget that we also had Antonio Cassano on our team, the one who loved a night of hookers and a pastry that the bell hop gave him after he took the hooker off his hands. Ronaldo may top that, but as long as he does spread his herpes strain in the dressing room it wont be to much a problem.

  Posted from United States

  

• Taylor Rockwell |  June 12th, 2009 at 11:27 am

  
  
  

  It may have been a typo, but I believe Corey just stated his desire for Slave to fornicate with Madrid’s dressing room… and give them a burning sensation a few weeks later…

  Posted from United States

  

• Wayne Farry |  June 12th, 2009 at 11:43 am

  
  
  

  Nani’s already spoken about it, he figures it gives him more of a chance to shine. I like his moxy.

  Posted from Ireland

  

Comments are closed