Manchester United’s Asian Vacation… Thus Far…

By: Taylor Rockwell | July 22nd, 2009

In keeping with the theme of catching up with belated news, here are the highlights from United’s ongoing journey through Asia. United are off to a 2-0 start with five goals in their favor. The fact that they’ve played the same team twice and allowed a near comeback is nothing to… er… be worried about. The fact that Zoran Tosic is apparently 53 inches tall may be.

Match 1: United 3 – Malaysia 2 (United goals from Rooney, Nani, and Owen)

Match 2: United 2 – Malaysia 0 (United goals from Macheda and Owen)

A couple things to comment on in relation to the above videos:
1) While I don’t know if I back Wayne’s prediction of 20+ goals for Owen, he’s certainly proving that his signing may pay serious dividends for United this season. I look at this situation the way I would if an injury-prone NBA/NFL/MLB player was in the final year of a contract… it behooves him to play as well as possible whenever possible without ever coming off as a villain. That goal in the first match (albeit against an inferior opponent) had all the hallmarks of Michael Owen’s goal scoring ability: quickness, a deft touch, and the ability to find the open net (that wasn’t meant to come off as ironic, I swear). Regardless, two games, two goals. Meanwhile, Tevez will enjoy destroying the “chemistry” at Citeh this season. Have fun watching Adebayor, Robinho, and Santa Cruz take large portions of the match off from your unique vantage point on the bench.

2) It bears repeating… either Zoran Tosic is tiny, or everyone else on the pitch is enormous. I’m going to go ahead and support the latter option, as it makes me feel a little better about the midfield situation (if only a little). Plus, it’s definitely good to see him getting minutes.

3) Nani is the only player I’ve ever seen to make a back-handspring seem lackadaisical. As the highlights clearly show, the United players aren’t exactly taking these goals to heart (although Macheda does seem pretty happy). So, usually, they score, high-five, and then walk back to their half. In Nani’s case, he nets and is then faced with the age old question: to flip or not to flip? “On the one hand, it is a tradition. On the other, I want to seem cool and not point out that the times I score are few and far between. Decisions, decisions.” So what does he do? Back-flip followed by the slow, uncaring walk back to the other half. It’s the best of both worlds. Way to solve problems Nani.

4) If you didn’t manage to catch either match, here are the player ratings for the first game and for their second game. I know that it’s never the best idea to put a whole lot of stock in preseason friendlies, but the comments regarding Berba’s performances are, “Typically languid display from the Bulgarian”, and “Showed customary finesse with the ball but created little” definitely doesn’t make me too happy. The fact that, Tosic’s mentions “Looked dangerous down the left and was a threat whenever on the ball” and Macheda’s states, “Took his goal well and showed impressive pace going forward” alleviates the pain just a touch. Additionally, is it possible to have a man-crush if both of the parties are under age? What does that say about me? Whatever, let’s just move on before this gets more awkward.

5) Asians make superior posters/signs to anything I could ever hope to come up with? Don’t believe me? Have a look at the following gems (photos from RedCafe):

This one obviously isn’t a great sign, but it still makes me laugh. What’s the likelihood that that kid is thinking, “When we bought these tickets, I was going to pose with Tevez and Slave. Now I’m standing with John O’Shea and Ben Foster. Awesome!”

This last one, while pretty funny, is also fairly sad and merits inclusion in this post. As reported by Reuters, “Bomb blasts ripped through the JW Marriott and Ritz-Carlton hotels in Jakarta’s business district on Friday, killing nine people and wounding dozens in attacks that could dent investor confidence in Indonesia. A car bomb also blew up along a toll road in North Jakarta, police said without giving further details. Indonesia’s Metro TV said two people had been killed. An unexploded bomb was also later found at the Marriott, police said.”

While this is altogether terrifying and a fairly upsetting commentary on the world in which we live, it also bears mentioning that United were scheduled to stay in that very same Ritz-Carlton. The Indonesian Super League XI, whom United were to face July 20, was staying at the Marriott and only missed the explosions because players were training at the time, said Azwan Karim, media officer for the Indonesian Football Association. A frightening what-if scenario to be sure. For now, thoughts and prayers are with those who lost friends and family to those attacks. Happier stuff to follow later…