Abbreviated Picks

By: Taylor Rockwell | October 31st, 2008

I was actually forced to work a full eight hours today, so here are the picks and editorial hilarity that I could throw together in roughly 15 minutes. Home teams in caps.

EVERTON 2 – Fulham 1

BORO 2 – Elijah Wood FC 0

POMPEY 1 – Wigan 1

Arsenal 3 – STOKE 1

CHELSKI 3 – Sunderland 0

WEST BROM 0 – Blackburn 0

TOTTENHAM 2 – Liverpool 1

Man City 1 – BOLTON 0

Villains 2 – TEAM THAT WILL BREAK SUNDERLAND’S RECORD FOR LOWEST POINTS 0

UNITED 3 – Hull 0

Random, abbreviated Thoughts Heading into a Solid Weekend of EPL games:

Really looking forward to taking a nap on Saturday? Yes? Then watch West Brom and Bolton and you won’t wake up for 10 months. Unfortunately, neither will any of the players on the pitch

Will ‘Arry Redknapp’s magic continue? Will Robbie Keane destroy his old team? Will Luka Modric finally start consistently performing? Can Tottenham pull off the upset? Yes, no, yes, and yes.

What is going on with Wigan? They play great for a few weeks straight and Amr Zaki looks more unstoppable than Kobe Bryant around blondes in Utah. And yet, only a few weeks later, they fall 4-0 to Villa and 2-0 to Fulhamerica. What the hell is going on? The only thing that Wigan fans (all 7of them that aren’t watching rugby) can take solace in is the fact that Pompey also have no idea who they are/where they are/what the hell is going on.

United will be in top form this weekend, mostly because all of their strikers are desperate to keep a position in the starting eleven. I have recently learned, however, that Anderson may be smarter than Tevez, but Tevez know how to throw his strength around… a fact which should come in handy against a stout, resolute squad like Hull. United will be aided by the return of Carrick, who will most likely pair Fletcher in the middle for a nearly translucent central midfield. Expect continued big things from Berba, a goal or two from Rooney, and Ronaldo to go to ground every time he is touched… so, pretty much business as usual. Enjoy the weekend… and seriously, DO NOT watch the West Brom-Blackburn watch… unless you want to have some things in common with Rip van Winkle.